Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Foodiness

Archive for the tag “fail”

Am I the only person in the world who can’t make kale chips?

It’s no secret that I don’t bake. I’m just not good at it. I mean, last Christmas I had a pretty successful cookie-making run, but that was not without help. (In the form of both human and Kitchenaid stand mixer.) But overall, I’m not a baker. I can cook on the stove top, but once that oven turns on, it’s hit or miss for me.

Which is probably why, even though everyone and their mother are making kale chips, I managed to burn them.

Yup. Not even five minutes in the oven and I burned ’em. Just in case anyone needed further proof that I can’t bake.

Now, here’s where you, my lovely readers, come in. I’m going to tell you what I did, and hopefully someone out there will be able to tell me where I went wrong. Because seriously, if kale chips are so hot right now, there must be a reason, and I want in on the secret, dammit!

I am not going to return to burying myself in a bag of potato chips. I will make successful, tasty kale chips!

So, here’s how it went down:

I took roughly half to 3/4 of a bunch of kale, cut off the stems and tore the leaves (leaving the center stems behind.) I laid them out on paper-towel lined baking sheets to dry and covered with more paper towels. After they dried, I tossed them with olive oil, salt and black pepper, then laid them back out on the baking sheets (sans paper towels), sprinkled with a little more salt and pepper, and into the oven they went (Preheated to 375F.) One sheet was on the middle rack, one on the top rack. Five minutes in, both racks were starting to burn.

Before:

After:

Womp.

I was all excited about these, too. When I went to Sickle’s Market with Kevin a couple weeks ago, I saw a big, green bunch of kale sitting there, and I had to have it. I have had kale chips on my radar for quite some time, since they’re popping up on just about every healthy eating blog. I was super-stoked to get such a yummy-looking bunch of kale and share my own chip recipe with you all. (If I was successful, I was even going to try my hand at kale chip nachos!)

Alas…this happened. Though it may be a lot funnier than if I had succeeded, it still bums me out. Plus, my house reeked of burnt kale. The night before a showing. That wasn’t so good.

So, tell me…where did I go wrong??

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